A Stirring is in you . . . isn’t it? What is stirring your belly like a drop of sweet milk into your everyday tea? Who is rising in your heart; or what is surfacing for you to complete? Why do you feel like tugging at the straps of your boots for a better grip, and pulling the saddlebags on your horse tautly for a ride that may not bring you a return?
I recently “tried” an outward journey to Sedona, Arizona. We danced and sang in our seats on the open road blessing it with happy energy as we journeyed past vacant desolate lots. What brave souls are living in small populations hoping you’ll stop long enough to support their way of life (which we all do in one way or another but the possibilities seem slim here). I imagined being a girl growing up here on the side of freeway in a handful of homes, with a handful of suitors, friends, whom everyone must know everything about you. Do they support your dreams of leaving for something better? Or do they raise you to continue in your “planned community?” “We are not different,” I noted “nowhere are we different!” We all get the same foundations in varying ways that may seem easier or harder, depending on your view; but the architect is YOU. We’ve seen success in those faced against all odds, those who’ve left decadence for self knowledge, and those who stayed to help their surroundings. We also know of those that believe this a ready made world for them, believing they are only the builder/the worker (been there, done that, not going back but still working on it) subjective to their surrounding and survival based on what everyone else does.
We arrived and the beauty of the land is undeniable. We ventured after dinner while the tourist slept and saw the town and got lost in the elevations of the forest (we didn’t know they had). We grew tired and disenchanted, we had wanted a journey but so far found only dark landscapes and U-turns. We would venture and come across a round-about and with a small turn we’d completely lose our way, although it looked so easy to follow and felt like a straight line, we found ourselves outside of our expectations.
We didn’t sleep well that night, in fact we dozed for bits of time. We decided the U-Turns really gave us the final clue, so we packed up and hiked, shopped a bit and were ready to head home a day early. I had brought flowers from my garden and gave some away but had a bundle left. My sister told me to give them away to the lady who was giving chair massages outside of the grocery store. I approached her and told her these were for her to enjoy from my garden and I turned and waked away while she voiced “for me?” “Yes,” I smiled as I turned my head around to see her smile. “I love you!” she said aloud (ohh the feeling of genuine love she voiced) this stopped me in my tracks and I turned around and with a toothy grin and with truth I said “I love you too!”
This was the journey I needed right there! In that small moment, I found truth, we are not different – we all want to love, feel and touch something beautiful in ourselves and experience the unordinary. As I write this story to you, what is her story? “A crazy curled redhead in violet with red rock dust on her legs and big smile gave me flowers today, I told her I loved her and she told me the same.” I imagine she needed that timing as well as I did and we both found divinity in ourselves ‘the architects’ to build a moment of meaning. She could’ve easily have said “thanks!’ or nothing, or even glared, but she didn’t she was open to receiving as I was in giving.
I didn’t need to go to an enchanting place because the enchantment is in us. I feel it in me rising, a rebirth as I now know my blueprints I’m making are intentional. I am not a builder to a world but the creator of mine and those who need me will find me and we will build our worlds that emerge into a beautiful place in my work, play or travels. I don’t merely watch the landscapes fly by but place myself there for just a moment and maybe you’ll feel my love in where I see you and you’ll decide to return it.
Yesterday I took a nap that lasted for hours and into the next day. I have no reason for it but my body was re-charging and I awoke today with a strong urge to saddle up and create, balance and seek the gifts I have to deliver and discover. I have a renewed sense of purpose and I don’t know what that exactly means, but I do know “love” is my horse’s name and “destiny” is the road I’m riding and I sometimes may have to grab the reins and at other times I let love lead with hands in the air.
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