How many times does one draw up a beautiful plan or idea and you think you’ve placed it on the higher shelf so it’s safe from passerby’s who think they can improve your dream drawing (your life)?
Do you sit down and again take that same architectural foundation from memory and start over? Or do you go for something new?
I’m looking at myself under this new lens. I can tell you in the past, I would just start from the same original platform and then flow with new ideas and maybe even better ones. If it didn’t go smoothly, I believe I would’ve just shook it one time violently for drama and slam it down and walk away in a huff, never to look at it again I would resign in love, career or friendship.
Today I try to remember why I was so attached and try it again. If it grew frustrating or felt pushed rather than flowing, I’d try something new and explore if it wanted to go further, and I wouldn’t force it; if it needed to end it just would. Trusting is a hard lesson but when I do recognize how my pushing to get what I want brings results but not happiness, I have to look at my insistence closely.
I’m learning that I don’t know how to make happiness just be happiness. My little happy thoughts turn the knobs on the toy and life becomes an adventure, maybe messy and not perfect. Perfection finds me in an awe moments of gratitude when I see the picture I was doodling just for pleasure was coming from a higher place, a higher self and it can’t be erased just improved and it becomes a masterpiece in my own heart’s view.