A friend said to me “I’m not happy right now,”
Referring to a time when they worked independently and spoke of that period of their life with fondness. I was puzzled because what I remembered was someone struggling mentally, financially and physically but I didn’t feel the need to point out they are in a better place in comparison if they truly believed the latter. I only heard “I want escapism again until I get what I want.” I think what they should do is bring back the creativity they had to do in order to survive and bring it into the now. I say that and here is my book waiting for chapters to be entered and I don’t feel the pull to do it either (we are no different). OHHHH I’d like to check out of reality time to time, except looking back on my life there was “no fondness” as there is now, it was created in the image of ‘image sakes’ now my life is now unfolding and maluable and I don’t feel my grip on outcomes so firmly. I have let go of a lot lately and my focus is off-line currently what I’ve wanted for a long time is uninteresting to me currently so I’m parked for now I’m not hinged to any outcome.
I had dinner with my x to discuss the kids. I’ve always had a hard time communicating with him and I always have to ask for angelic guidance to help me articulate instead of finding myself in defensiveness; he doesn’t know me at all. I don’t blame him for that, I wasn’t whole most of our marriage I just woke up one day and I couldn’t pretend I hadn’t. We both have changed dramatically but we carry old scars we think may resurface again. I decided to surrender and asked for complete guidance “let me listen without fear and the same with voicing my views.” We had an interesting conversation on the Bible. He said “I know you have a very different view than I do (he’s now a Decan in a church) about God,” I scrunched my brows in confusion because although he just joined a church 5 years ago I’ve been committed to God since I can remember besides my Catholic upbringing. “You once said people have their own truths…” Again I made a puzzling face trying to regain that memory of the past “nevermind, anyway” he went onto explain what Jesus means to him and I was on the same page except that his beliefs stem only from the pages of the bible and my beliefs do the same except I don’t limit it to man’s interpretation because everything he is now practicing is given to us all and no one is excluded; that’s religion but GOD is in us all and that’s what we have to respect and deliver that truth regardless of what label the person is wearing that comes before us.
I share this because now he trusts he is provided for (great) BUT this is available to everyone. Some may call it “manifesting” and some call it “miracles” and some claim it’s only due to “being a servant to the Lord”; all of it is true GOD loves everyone but you have to practice ‘love and forgiveness’ in order to see it’s workings. I decided to watch part 2 of Out on a Limb by Shirley Maclaine (I had seen part 1 a couple of weeks ago and forgotten to look up part 2 until today). WHAT impeccable timing it comes across the two conversations I had regarding 35:53 on happiness (as my friend mentioned) and truth:
Shirley: “Do you ever get depressed or angry?”David: ‘Sure.’
Shirley: “How do you get through it?”
David: “Well I guess happiness is me knowing what I believe in.”
Shirley: “but you never seem to have self doubt.”
David: Nope? he rolls his eyes and motions as if he does
Shirley: “I think people who have no self doubt are self righteous…dangerous.”
David: “well I have a lot of self doubt and I always thought that people that were self righteous were people that just wanted you to think like they do.”
50:43 when asking Shirley to write a book about her search for truth
David: “Everybody in the world would like to know the truth.”
Shirley: “The truth, what truth?
David: “The simple truth of who they are and where they come from and there’s a lot more going on than they been taught”
I just laughed it seemed parallel to my conversations and don’t get me started when they spoke of the Divine God intelligence force. “How the energy of love quickens energy to it’s ultimate” I can attest this is the only way I can use energy to help someone heal because I bring love I have and share it into their pains.
I am still astonished on how this movie I’ve seen in my teens has shown up in my adult life in bits and pieces. Thanks, Shirley for going out on a limb and everyone else who also has for the sake of the soul, not the self.