She Used to Be Mine

Sara Bareilles

It’s not simple to say
That most days I don’t recognize me
That these shoes and this apron (fucking Cinderella imitation)
That place and its patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It’s not easy to know
I’m not anything like I used be, although it’s true
I was never (his) attention’s sweet center
I still remember that girl

She’s imperfect, but she tries
She is good, but she lies  (never lies to a person’s disguise)
She is hard on herself
She is broken (has struggles) and won’t ask for help
She is messy  (seems crazy), but she’s kind
She is lonely most (in glimpses) of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie (life)
She is gone, but she used to be mine

It’s not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person and makes you believe it’s all true
And now I’ve got (remembering) you
And you’re not what I asked for (underneath your thick human skin)
If I’m honest, I know I would give it all back (my unconditional love will help you grow with another)
For a chance to start over and rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew (didn’t know this side of herself… till you)

(no regrets loving you)

Who’ll be reckless, just enough
Who’ll get hurt, but who learns how to toughen up
When she’s bruised and gets used by a man who can’t love
And then she’ll get stuck
And be scared of the life that’s inside her
Growing stronger each day ’til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little, to bring back the fire in her eyes
That’s been gone, but used to be mine
Used to be mine

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Sara Bareilles

She Used to Be Mine lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC

Sorry Sara for mining your exceptional soul writing #musicmuse but your inspiration hit me amidst my unpacking not only my storage boxes but my past. I found myself akin to most of your lyrics but there are some that I (changed) or struck out to match my perspective or view.

Mercury Retrograde claims to reunite you physically with people of the past Or brings up emotional untidy ties. I love this song. I sang it many times without it kicking in, but today it seemed to anchor me to a past love and I’m not afraid to say that it was.

I found a dirty old dime that I ignored until it was time to clean the floors and it’s humorous to me because finding pennies is family saying “Hi,” but finding a dime is “a lesson to be learned” and with it being grimy I wondered what this meant until this song connected the two.

-DO NOT DISTURB

Is this what happened as a teen sitting in your dark bedroom ruminating about things seemingly unfair or unjust to your inner core. Blasting a song on a continous loop till you cry or break down?

Call me crazy but I love being broke up in tiny pieces by an artist “that sings your soul out to you” making mosiacs out of the pain to something you’re glad to having made it out too! To me is like fucking the mind till you orgasm the sensation of having LIVED instead of rotting inside.

I had been alone for a lot of my teenage life and it made me stronger for the woman I would again become and reunite later in life.

I don’t carry regrets and now less and less pain from the past it was what made me tender and true and what fills me up; so I can offer it to the next person waiting in line to experince or maybe needing an experienced survior to help them get through too.

Lonliness is something I don’t attribute to having given in to. I lean into dreams, songs and creativity like a baby mobile circling my attention and then I have no clue about needing something or someone when spirit naturally supports you but again I’m accoustomed to “me time.” Until of course it’s the perfect time…to sing and dance a new tune with somebody new.

-Erica Sussette