“Timing is everything!” they say. If you look at the past you’d agree on things that worked out in the best way! There are things you wished you hadn’t pushed for that didn’t turn out so great. Sometimes we don’t want to forge through with difficulties and feel we might save them for a day when we feel stronger, but then it may become so difficult having those emotions hanging over us like a marine layer over your ability to go on and therefore we force it out.
I’m forcing it out today in this blog. I don’t want to sound like a crazed astrologic zombie but it does match the descriptions of energies of what I had read prior; Did I get bitten and align to the energy they say would appear? Did I just take a bite and created this myself? Regardless, the day of the new moon on Thursday evening had me in a ball of emotions, sadness, regret dipped in anger, crazy strength to eradicate without heart and destroy things that made me uncomfortable and I pulled the reins WOAH! It’s easy to let things die off but they only rot when you ignore them, in order for things to be eliminated you have to care for them; give them a proper burial. This is when you find out you “actually wanted” to keep a kernel of that exact discomfort maybe as a reminder of error or perhaps there was a kernel of hope that sparked good things from it!
I akin “hope” as a good weed. The kind we as children see as beautiful on a field of grass and we might even make necklaces, headbands and suckle a taste of these beauties who shoot out of uniformed scenery to catch your attention allowing us to make a wish or new thought.
Well I found myself in nature with a deep furrowed brow and here came my king egret to stick out its head out of the brush, my symbol for Yeshua and “it’s all okay.” I only sunk in deeper with “don’t make me cry in relief that you’re here, get rid of this feeling.” l couldn’t release it was my ego against spirit and it collided and fought. I knew I could give it up, but the fight had me intrigued why do we insist on our way. . .doubt is the answer. We constantly doubt ourselves but there is a kernel that tells us to trust and we just haven’t mastered how the good kernels feels/looks like against a real weeds that takes over a gorgeous garden. I know what I’m saying is hard to follow it’s really for me to look at under the microscope and understand and learn and a good scribe writes it down to connect later with outcome and process what transpired from this experience what did I learn?
I now have one eyebrow up “what!” She laughs “That’s what I thought no way could it be the same one, so I look at my old photo and it’s the same id number and I call them and tell them to hold him (which they won’t) and I find out that he was adopted at fair but ran away and he had a chip so the people who adopted him told the shelter “we changed our minds you can keep him,” and I drive down there and they won’t release him until he’s fixed and they don’t know when he’ll be up for adoption. I’m in disbelief now and frustrated with the whole heartbreaking story of love trying to meet love for a happy ending . . . will it?
PS. My appologies Yeshua; you did take it away! Many thanks and love xxoxo