“Timing is everything!” they say. If you look at the past you’d agree on things that worked out in the best way! There are things you wished you hadn’t pushed for that didn’t turn out so great. Sometimes we don’t want to forge through with difficulties and feel we might save them for a day when we feel stronger, but then it may become so difficult having those emotions hanging over us like a marine layer over your ability to go on and therefore we force it out.
I’m forcing it out today in this blog. I don’t want to sound like a crazed astrologic zombie but it does match the descriptions of energies of what I had read prior; Did I get bitten and align to the energy they say would appear? Did I just take a bite and created this myself? Regardless, the day of the new moon on Thursday evening had me in a ball of emotions, sadness, regret dipped in anger, crazy strength to eradicate without heart and destroy things that made me uncomfortable and I pulled the reins WOAH! It’s easy to let things die off but they only rot when you ignore them, in order for things to be eliminated you have to care for them; give them a proper burial. This is when you find out you “actually wanted” to keep a kernel of that exact discomfort maybe as a reminder of error or perhaps there was a kernel of hope that sparked good things from it!
I akin “hope” as a good weed. The kind we as children see as beautiful on a field of grass and we might even make necklaces, headbands and suckle a taste of these beauties who shoot out of uniformed scenery to catch your attention allowing us to make a wish or new thought.
Well I found myself in nature with a deep furrowed brow and here came my king egret to stick out its head out of the brush, my symbol for Yeshua and “it’s all okay.” I only sunk in deeper with “don’t make me cry in relief that you’re here, get rid of this feeling.” l couldn’t release it was my ego against spirit and it collided and fought. I knew I could give it up, but the fight had me intrigued why do we insist on our way. . .doubt is the answer. We constantly doubt ourselves but there is a kernel that tells us to trust and we just haven’t mastered how the good kernels feels/looks like against a real weeds that takes over a gorgeous garden. I know what I’m saying is hard to follow it’s really for me to look at under the microscope and understand and learn and a good scribe writes it down to connect later with outcome and process what transpired from this experience what did I learn?
I learned a couple of things hours later that were kernels of hope. The first is from the true story of hope and divine timing (a reoccurring topic of late for me) from the very person who covered my desk while I was out in nature. When I returned she had a cute photo of a terrier dog on her phone in which I inquired knowing she had her dog run away on New Years Eve from fireworks and a longing to find it. “oh, I haven’t told you I can’t believe I haven’t told you till now (divine timing-that’s why)!” She begins with “Over spring break we found a cute dog,” she shows the photo and it’s near my mothers in Palm Dessert. “We go to see him and he’s adorable we fall in love with him (her two kids included) but they tell us he’s not available until tomorrow come back because he needs to be fixed but come first thing. ” They get up early and go and the lady is so happy to see their commitment but the dog is missing? They find out that the dog was taken to the “dog adoption fair” and the nice lady is furious knowing it was taken and finds out he was adopted at the fair. My friend and children are disheartened how much more pain than losing one (we suspect someone kept their very attractive dog for themselves) and now they drove all the way down from Orange County and disappointed (she cried) having felt something for this little guy.
I remarked “oh my goodness, how heartbreaking.” She smiled “Yes, but remember when ours was lost and you told me you felt he’s not hurt or dead but “he’s waiting at the shelter.” Oh man I thought and told her “Yeah, I felt your dog was waiting I was convinced and everyday you tell me they didn’t return him and I felt so bad.” She said “okay but you told me “your dog is waiting at the shelter,” and I remembered it. Anyway a few days passed and I look at their new dogs for adoption and there’s another one who looks just like this one who was adopted at the fair. I call and they said he was here before and now he’s available.
I now have one eyebrow up “what!” She laughs “That’s what I thought no way could it be the same one, so I look at my old photo and it’s the same id number and I call them and tell them to hold him (which they won’t) and I find out that he was adopted at fair but ran away and he had a chip so the people who adopted him told the shelter “we changed our minds you can keep him,” and I drive down there and they won’t release him until he’s fixed and they don’t know when he’ll be up for adoption. I’m in disbelief now and frustrated with the whole heartbreaking story of love trying to meet love for a happy ending . . . will it?
I now have one eyebrow up “what!” She laughs “That’s what I thought no way could it be the same one, so I look at my old photo and it’s the same id number and I call them and tell them to hold him (which they won’t) and I find out that he was adopted at fair but ran away and he had a chip so the people who adopted him told the shelter “we changed our minds you can keep him,” and I drive down there and they won’t release him until he’s fixed and they don’t know when he’ll be up for adoption. I’m in disbelief now and frustrated with the whole heartbreaking story of love trying to meet love for a happy ending . . . will it?
“Well a sweet intern heard the whole story, ” she tells me and secretly calls me “hey your dog is up for adoption today.” They send their grandmother to hold him and they reunite and I hear he’s a perfect and I mean perfect match for their family. I’m floored because here I am doubting my heart and guidance and she’s telling me spirit gets you to the prize you are dreaming of. . . but maybe not the exact prize but even better! I tell her “you know I needed to hear this, as I was just out there doubting my beliefs and interpretations but they’re not wrong …just not the exact way I perceived it.” She says “You said, you’re dog is waiting for you at the shelter, and he was!” Man, what a gorgeous lesson and I have the kernel again not in my shoe kicking rocks but in my heart blowing the stars off the stems; show me spirit and let me be surprised and floored.
PS. My appologies Yeshua; you did take it away! Many thanks and love xxoxo
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