It seems my spirit is launching me into a new age, and it’s not just that I will be older in 7 days; but it’s throwing me into a new understanding of love
Moments after I posted my last blog I received a text from my x asking to meet so we can catch up on the children activities. My immediate thought was “I’m tired I’ve had a hell of a work day prior, I don’t have the stamina in my heart to be challenged or hear of challenges …” and I don’t like to have serious discussions when I’m not in my heart. As I drove deciding if I’m in the right frame of mind, I heard in that voice (that comes in from time to time, in a whisper that is not exactly our voice but it feels familiar) “Do it, you have both healed and you can become the best of friends now.” I didn’t hesitate to respond and trusted.
He showed up an hour later and started his greeting with “Thank you for meeting me, I’m here out of friendship . . .” I smiled and knew the past was in the dust. We had lunch, he helped me purchase things our kids needed I couldn’t do on my own and there was no challenges only healing. THAT IS ONE BIG MIRACLE. You have no idea how long and hard the road is to love; in all roads whether romantic, karmic or friendship but they all start with an intention. I wanted peace I prayed and practiced it for him and myself (so did he apparently) and here it is in the physical manifestation. DONE and FIN! Thank you Mother Mary who held me so many times. It’s funny because before the divorce I had Yeshua come and lead me to study love and forgiveness in myself in order to follow my path. During and after the divorce it was Mary who led me to healing my heart to allow her son’s work of forgiveness to well ….work!
Mary isn’t done yet. Last night I had trouble sleeping I was exhausted (I stayed in bed today until 2 pm to care in rest) from so much chaos and healing work used, so I searched for my selenite in the dark touching the bedside table and sheets, lightly moving so as not to break it. I turned to press the phone light and it jumped off the bed on to the floor. Now logically maybe I kicked it off? Except I was diligent in keeping soft movements as not to hurt it so I think maybe I’m just receiving what I need; as it is known as angel wands! If you don’t have one get one and hopefully it takes away your mental anguish. I’m wondering if it gave me the second dream mentioned below, because that night I pushed the pillow away and left the selenite in it’s place above my head; did it bring me clarity?
I know she’s the one responsible for showing me large roses taller than sunflowers and as big as umbrellas in a dream with two Latin locals I termed “LA girls” and upon waking I gasped when I remembered what LA stands for “Los Angeles” aka “The Angels” in disguise leading me back to what I had given up on. In the dream they didn’t want me in the “parking lot” but in the action. It was a dream about no more wasting time they wanted valet parking and the best available and were dragging me along with them while I had fears of not having enough to keep up with their pricey determinations and I didn’t want to engage only to be crushed again. It was the large red roses that keep popping up in images and I know it’s her. I’m grateful for my spiritual team surrounding me to take a chance on love from my Dad in dreams to Mother Mary; you’d think why fear when you have the most trusted advisers leading you in dreams and healing. Well, I went and chased after dreams and fell flat against the brick wall. Divine love is your right but it’s not given but earned! Trust me they’re not scrapes to the ego but ambulance rides back to your soul with your ego on lifeline.
On Thursday morning I had a dream that woke me up at 4 am the day mercury retrogrades. It was a gorgeous dream of my divine companion (he’s been in my dreams for years, but a no show in life) and I haven’t yet gotten over it because I felt my heart open again (not that it was ever closed) but this is love I have yet to discover in a physical plane. I can still go back and feel that lightness in the heart and the “locked and loaded” feeling my whole being had . . .which is really an ugly description that usually correlates with a pistol. I was locked in and on fire and there was no shortage to be had, as I was loaded with love. It’s almost the same theme as the LA Angels dream, as I did not come forward my sisters in the dream (my real life angels) led me to an opportunity to bump into love but I wasn’t biting! I was not going to guess the situation anymore but luckily he came and grabbed my hand and made it clear I had no more guessing to do and I got to receive an invitation and damn did I accept!
So yes I’m feeling a growth spurt but not in terms of aging but in advancing in love. I married a friend, made a family and it recycled again to a friendship the biggest accomplishment we’ve ever done – and we all have peace. I’ve learned to love myself and stand up for myself in friendships and at work and it’s going really well I can feel exchanges that are fair and care is shown to me; a fair exchange we are receiving what we’ve given.
Intimate love is next! The prep work is telling me to get ready, don’t think too much, don’t hold onto past experiences or expect to know the outcome, but get ready to leap when it comes; because it’s coming to you . . .all you have to do this time around is to accept!
I think that’s the message at least how I interpret it or another ego ambulance ride!