You can fall to your knees in shock Or, nod in knowing it was approaching  . . .but you’re never prepared for the emotion and memories it brings to the forefront.

I found out my grandfather passed away the day before my birthday and learned he actually passed 3 days prior to being informed. On the day of his death, I learned they brought him back with paddles and he awoke with a profane curse, angered to be treated with cruelty.  We don’t want to depart from our loved ones . . . but our souls long to go home and perhaps why I received a signal of unhappiness.  I was at lunch heading to my meditation spot when I heard the sound of a duck in distress. I thought it strange as we don’t usually have ducks but hawks in the area and I couldn’t see it as I viewed the panoramic scenery and shrugged my shoulders until I heard a second bird (unknown species) cry out  once more in earshot a strange birds cry, but again no sight of a bird.  I noted it in my twitter like I normally do, using it as my date stamped notepad of my encounters or muse of the day.  Could it be that he was trying to contact someone who listens “let me go, I want to fly home?”

 I walked into the room with my sister, we were the first attendees and it hit us hard seeing him in the coffin, yet still we are numb to accepting it. Sorrow can be felt creeping in like a dark shadow over your body and although it’s appropriate  to allow it to take over so you can drain the darkness out in massive tears; it feels ungodly.  I viewed my emotions like a scientist and my sister probably picking up on my psyche observation said “I didn’t get a sign or forewarning.” I felt the same. Why didn’t I get a dream of grandma or my Dad preparing us? Our family depends on intuition, how can not one of us pick up on a clan member leaving? If I hadn’t of wrote down my notes I couldn’t of known any attempt was made; and in our busy lives we miss out on many divinations.  

Following his death I had a scary encounter (which I don’t believe is associated to his death) but I feel compelled to share (so you can have the tools to dispel if needed) even though it takes away from the beautiful memory of my grandfather, but I wanted to share this so we all know we have immense power of love from God.  May 10th, I was sound asleep but in my dream state I felt an uneasy presence (this could be that I then created this myself being innocent in sleep and sensitive as we are creators) enter either my dream  or my aura (not sure). I didn’t like it as it was not a cozy love feeling but a fearful energy it froze me in reacting, so that before I could understand what was happening; I couldn’t use my body to move or voice a plea for help. It was a slow paralization and I think if I was a child it would immediately taken over, but I am very knowledgable in the power of love and miracles and angelic assistance having many lessons of what ego is compared to soul guidance so it couldn’t take over; as I knew I have ultimate power in my decisions with alignment to God. 

So when I tried to cry out and my voice was tightened with fear feeling a oppression I didn’t accept it! I calmly thought . . . well you can’t take over my mind and used my telepathy (mind) to summons  Archangel Michael. I knew I just had to call upon him and allow my trust in this higher power to dispel this lower energy and I immediately felt the clench let up and I didn’t waste time using my mind to pray and nothing could break that bond in prayer it left immediately and I didn’t focus on “will it come back?” or look at the darkness around me in fear or listen for any little noise I just KNEW it was done  and thanked the angels and noted it on twitter lol. I tend to note encounters not to appear crazy or weird (trust me, it took me a long time to finally not care about my ego of what you’ll think of me, but think of this world as a community whole; you and me in this together) to alert anyone else who might be encountering the same experiences and we can then see the big picture of clues we might be getting collectively.

Now back to Grandpa Joe. He used to say “I’m going to give you comb, so you can brush your hair.” always teasing me about my uncontrollable curls. The night before my family would arrive for the funeral I was cleaning my shower and in the tub I noted a small comb. I picked it up and stared at it (whenever you feel the need to stare or stop in acknowledgment  is when it’s spirit talking) but with my mind full of school projects, funerals and family I noted it but didn’t realize what it meant.  It wasn’t until I was standing before his coffin with his new wife and my mother telling her the family joke of Grandpa telling me to comb my hair  . . .that it hit me. Ah damn Grandpa you done did it to my heart and like me calling out to Archangel Michael for peace; so did I now have in you leaving this plane but never leaving our soul connection.  So what is sorrow? In most events its the loss of a chance to love or never knowing/giving/sharing love until its too late; thanks for letting me know I have nothing to be sorrowful for.

Thank you Grandpa for helping me in my teens years when I was angry, scared and alone due to my ego in not asking for help; you ignored my defiance and held my hand. Thank you for all the circus candy peanuts a kid could digest as well as the jokes and lovingly calling my grandmother “meatloaf “instead of “my love.” For teaching me that anyone can be like St. Francis of Assisi saving baby mice in your work locker, skunks and any flea bitten discarded creature from being eliminated. GOD BLESS YOU