Good Mourning (realizing & releasing the ego)!

by | Jan 25, 2018 | 2 comments

When did you Awaken?

When did you see, feel and hear that life was more than about yourself?

When did you see the soul before the ego?

When did you realize the powers of love?

When did you change Love’s description from just romanticism?

When did you feel compassion for those unlike you?

When did you start practicing forgiveness?

When did you start caring and stop judging?

When did you stop speaking in defense to listen?

When did you stop pointing out injustices and observe where they started (possibly in you)?

When did you awaken?

When you noticed all these things coming out from in you.

I know looking back to my teens I couldn’t see the beginnings of enlightenment sprouting but I would feel guilty in how others were separated or mistreated especially when I didn’t do anything about it or worse when I joined in (ugh I can pinpoint those exact moments now in my gut, you carry that darkness but hopefully as a reminder IT DOES NOT PAY TO BE IN A CROWD OF COWARDS).  I can also look back and see two moments when I showed signs of awakening.  I was 16 working at a big Department store in the baby’s dept. and a lady mourning her daughter walked past my department and started to tear up remembering raising her daughter. I spoke to her for at least an hour I was patient, kind, and loving and although I don’t remember what I said, I know I was not alone to help her find solace- I was just 16 what did I know! The lady left smiling and we hugged and I felt a peace I’ve never known I could create.

I remember when a big lesson was handed to me when my best friends mom asked us to go and talk to a man in a coma (I was 13 maybe) and my friend froze never opened her mouth. I was struck too, but something in me reached out and I spoke to him in almost whispers until I could hear myself in the room thick with heaviness as he would let out grunts occasionally and everyone listened hoping for a change that would never come to him, but did for me as I put someone before ME.

This week a friend ask me about number sequences repeating “what does it mean?” she asked. “Congratulations you are awakening into enlightenment and soon you will “see” how all things are connected and then you will “feel it” to then “knowing it.” This journey can be easy or hard depending on your will to withstand transformation or surrender to it and by that, I mean:

If you look for answers but only desire to control the outcome; you are resisting transformation.

If you seek for answers and accept the truth (good, fair or for worse) then you surrender and  will understand the greater intelligence in every detail that occurred; you received a lesson (knowledge).

You can apply this to all topics you are currently seeking for example “Why doesn’t he love me?” might become “rejection is protection” or “he loved what I gave, not who I am, and what did I give or hold back? Did I truly see the truth vs desire to see what was before me?” or “I sought love but selected an image of love, it was superficial and that was my vibration I was sending”.  Perhaps “a lesson to open my heart to the center of a soul rather than the outer packaging of what suited us both in a preferred checklist, rather than in authentic integrity, for the right connection,  as I would like to have done onto me.” All these reflections and seeking authentic connections will be felt deeper and then it automatically transforms you into compassionate people re-correcting your habits of humanity to higher humanity.

We are cracking our codes of conduct, thoughts and actions; we are awakening to spirit and it opens us wider than we know is possible. This Tuesday I posted on my Instagram a photo of peacocks i came across and how 3 songs in a row came on the radio mentioned “Angels” in the lyrics that struck me as a connection ( I was heavy in the heart worrying about my children and their challenges) “Send me an Angel came on first” then U2 “Still haven’t found what I’m looking for” and lastly “Creep.” It didn’t hit me until I started singing as loud as I could “Run” that angels were consoling me (and later I’d find out it was a direct message) that I made the connection as that song “Creep” was my in a dream at least 5-7 years ago:

PERFECT SOUL DREAM: I saw a forest setting all in blue hues due to the moonlight and I saw myself approach a giant man I could only see his knees down (even in my dream state he was too big to see entirely) so I can only see his seated position (like Lincoln statute but enormous) he asked “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”  I looked like a child almost androgynous dressed in cloth wrapped around my body and when the question was asked I was startled and panicked and what came to mind I spilled it out “I want a perfect soul.” I then ran in the opposite direction with the Creep song intro. starting to play as I ran into the dark unknown fearless and barefoot as fast as I could, and I noted my lucid intrepidation of stepping on something harmful but apparently my inner soul was determined.

Unfortunately I erased that message not wanting to “Share” every thought outloud but now I regret it because the next day my sister texts me:

I have to speak up and show up like I did in those moments in my youth (and dream come to think of it) unafraid to step away from the crowd cowering in huddles,  afraid of being exposed as “different,” as I am not. . .JUST AWAKE.

UPDATE: On the next day I had a colleague approach me to ask me if I would consider a side job.  I, of course, jumped on the opportunity gratefully this would help me pay for a tutor and tell her about the angel help I heard in songs now realized.  Maybe 30 minutes pass and I share my angel song event with a colleague (but didn’t share what was heavy in my heart), and we start talking about my son and he offers to tutor him. The angels were placing me among these souls who decided to both reach out to me right after each other like the song compilations. AMEN and thank you!

About Erica Sussette


  1. Mlc

    Applaud you for your questioning and forgiving yourself of things we did in the past. Guilt creates dis ease and I wish you many blessings in all thw ways you’ll experience A peaceful, loving life.Thanks for sharing your journey with me. BLL

  2. Erica Sussette

    Who would’ve thought a rebellious, selfish child would find her soul; we are so loved!


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