“She gone.” I said in a statement of slang
I’m not looking back
I’ve no need to mourn or scorn
to hate or feel unloved
to miss what once was (the good, bad or sad)
I’ve done things I don’t admire
but I faced the fire
heavily cloaked hiding from view
she gone (I said without a second thought)
what I once was is now a keepsake
a requirement of my soul’s growth
I don’t need her cloak around my neck
I am grateful for what she knew and the
things she thought were true
but she’s gone and I AM renewed
Last Friday I had the opportunity to get together with 8 friends and head down to what felt like an impromptu meditation evening with an Intuitive Counselor we all didn’t know much about. He started out with explaining our numerology at birth and how it will apply to this year 2017 (2+0+1+7=10 drop zero becomes a one year) being a 1 year otherwise known as “a new beginning,” or like the fool card a whole new journey.
It was a small intimate group only around 20 people and he started with me (I was in the front row) and told me and a friend that my soul was a number 1 which means that of leaders and new journeys. . . people who start but don’t finish (ouch). He explained the other groups 1-9 and those who had magic numbers 11, 22, 33 and how they akin to adolescent magicians (having a powerful manifestation wand and not knowing how to use it). I didn’t take notes so I don’t want to misrepresent the other groups with their quick definitions he gave. He then gave us each a personal baby nugget of insight on what we need to do in order to benefit from this “new start year.”
Like I said, he started with me and looked down at me as we were all sitting on the floor into my eyes and said if I remember correctly “You miss who you once were . . .” as he was accumulating more intuitive input and I was taking what he said in I said with sincere consideration “she gone.” He smiled at me and repeated what I said and he again fell silent for a few seconds before saying “Did you forgive her?” Now I smiled while I went in to search for that answer and in a long drawn-out voice said “may….be” as I scanned within and nodded yes to his accurate hit. He didn’t go into more detail he knew I understood and though I almost dismissed it because I forgive people quite easily. I can forgive people because, like me, I know they’ve either hurt me for reasons that really had nothing to do with “me” personally it was their old hurts or their immaturity or ego maturity lol really; we all learn the hard way as we are growing. BUT I didn’t check in with myself to self-forgiveness for doing, saying or perceiving things wrong or recklessly.
So it was Tuesday night and I was feeling this full moon eclipse early (true to form) and filled up the tub with salt and candlelight and thought about the things I haven’t forgiven myself for or thought I had and offered up my remorse and filled the tub with more salt but from my tears. Although I wanted so desperately to write about that pain coming to the surface I decided to just let it drain away as couldn’t wait for a new day to start.
This week was such a display of people and even children coming to the brink of anger, resentment or blame and this I’m speaking about only in my radius of everyday life (I’m not speaking about global or state events). I feel almost sunburned by people’s angst and no matter how wonderful my intentions and prayers and chakra’s started my day, I had to reground and restart and protect myself from having anyone’s bad mood drain me throughout this week. I learned of two teachers almost in the middle of serious car accidents but miraculously escaped within seconds due to (in both situations) people placing their needs first before their own/other lives to run the red light or cutting off two lanes to enable themselves to enter a driveway they can’t reroute for a one minute delay. Eclipses I found, shake up your life in some form or another (they come in pairs) and not necessarily terrible as it brought both these women to leave what they worried about in the dust; having only gratitude to have a new perspective of life. Eclipses also bring earthquakes or natural earth changes AGAIN to bring value into view for our earth, and gratitude for what we take for granted (water, sea, land, air, flora and fauna) usually within 3 months (not saying it’s factual just observations I personally noted).
I can say it seems true for the most part when they claim that a Lunar Eclipse possibly removes a woman from your life (my old self is gone) not necessarily in terms of tragedy but in the betterment of that women’s growth although it will rock your world a bit (like a friend having a baby or getting married life changes for the better but it’s a new way of living). This eclipse having been in the sign of Leo (the heart) is going to change us for the better as we really look into our hearts and see what we value and have the courage to face things that have been holding us back. We’ve got a fire in our bellies and some are going to misuse this fire and burn others and some are gonna shine and give us a sunny disposition. We’re gonna be the Lionhearted victor and tell the people we love and value that they’re worth fighting for and we want them with us and this goes for not only romantic but moral values. We all get to sit around King Arthur’s Round Table and establish a land of just and abundance. We can choose to be the Knight or revered servant to a noble cause, Fair Queen or King or loyal confidant, leader or supporter, Merlin or lady of the water; but you will be changed as others accept the challenge.