Set the tone (this week’s message)
A friend texts me way after midnight upset her date was disappointing, it didn’t end as she had wished. She shared her need to finish the relationship off in her frustration and cut the cord of communication completely stop the illusions. I asked her not to punish him but to practice the love she had wished to receive, be it, unconditional love, in the face of unreciprocated love and move on (a lesson I am well versed in). Of course, my answer only frustrated her more and she would try to convince me WHY she was right and I was not getting it. I texted her as fast as I could because if I took too long to think of what to say, she would send the cannonball in seconds and obliterate the relationship. I think I ended saying…
“You can have divine timing or free will choice. Stop driving and let God place you above the cloud when you both arrive; don’t place yourself under the cloud!”
I woke to a text at 9 am “Thank you for saving my ass last night I was on fire.” I run into her and she tells me “I owe you big time, you singlehandedly saved me from ruining the best relationship I have.” I was confused because I thought for sure she went ahead and said her peace to him, but I learn that I literally “wore her out (LOL) and she got tired of arguing with me and fell asleep.” When she awoke there was a nice message from him and he was on his way to see her hours later. We laughed on how outrageous it became all because we interpret a failure or rejection when it was really how she heard the wrong tone (no drinking and driving your love life) you cannot control love. I was so happy I could help “Why she texted me and not her best friend was lost on her she said, I guess somehow I knew who I should contact.” Yup, unfortunately, I learned the hard way but now I’m willing (with stubbornness intact don’t get me wrong I still learn the hard way) to learn I was wrong, neglectful, ignorant or maybe clueless and I try to fix my errors or accept the results even when a happy outcome is never coming. I learned to forgive and forget (their part) and own mine.
A friend tells me a story of a woman angry because she interprets another to be judgemental toward her. I hear both sides and it seems to me they both perceive the other as judgemental, yet neither are they are cool people who had a miscommunication once. Both were hurried and sometimes our voices sound too determined perceived as aggressive (it was just something else on their mind most likely triggered from the past) then having a story amongst themselves toward each other they meet with whatever negative or worried thought previously embedded before they spot each other and it’s a TNT blast of dynamite blown to bits battle. We have to learn to forgive the first time (I mean depending on the severity of the situation, of course, Harvey’s not included) and clear preconceived gestures, comments that become misunderstandings and if never fixed or forgiven it will only progress to worse because that’s all that has been presented; so be present and clean up the messes. Gratefully one is placing themselves in the light of what the other would’ve had perceived in the miscommunication and is extending a handshake (I hope the other let’s go and allows love in). Since I wrote this on Monday, I’ve learned they have turned over a new leaf!
Sometimes I can feel a push or punch in my chest when I hear myself saying something that could be perceived as cocky or misconstrued and I’ll try to fix it right there and then, and there are times when I can feel I should not try as it will only muddy the waters. Most of the time I will be clueless and go on with my day but the conversation will replay in my mind and I look at it again and can almost See/Hear it came off completely opposite of what I tried to communicate. I then feel so terrible that I will try to clear it up or explain, but if the person is not willing to offer forgiveness or blocks communication you just have to accept it as an attempt (I tried) before I leave it to rest in peace. I also don’t need to say my truth forcibly. If people don’t want to hear me out I don’t feel the need to defend myself knowing I was offering the truth, a peace treaty and they’re gonna see what they see …BUT I KNOW I tried to clear it and the Universe knows and that’s worth more to me than seeing someone shamed. Shaming IS NOT a happy ending but entrapment in power and what blocks people from forgiving on this planet! We got to drop that indignant bullshit it’s why people feel the need to punish or worse give physical pain to others in revenge. We are looking for neutral space like a page refresh on the relationship and its promise could be so much greater than your 3 min ego boost that will not last or outlast repairing or healing your relationships.
I’m waiting on Starbucks to offer this gift card:
Hey, I think I came off stronger than my coffee (I’m sorry) Can we start over with a full cup?
Tones (sound) can put you in a state of mind and your voice/body language is no different! I thought about sound and how it feels in the body and played with these tones:
Okay, but we must have boundaries!