Life has been so quick.
Like an undertow in a riverbed; I almost drowned, and I was lost yet carried to the waterfall drop of destiny to find it was all magnetic and necessary in the despair and fight for hope that kept me afloat. -Erica Sussette
So what happened? A LOT! I’m still too busy to stop and condense it so I’m sitting now in between kid homework and delaying duties to remember and log it in short stories before it becomes a foggy far off haunted dream. I apologize for the scribe in me that will for now, just list some facts without explaining my interpretations of my awareness or lack of, when I was hit by wave after wave of life’s force to be in the driver’s seat (but knowing that I usually intuit the purpose of my lessons while I write, I may just become aware as I digress).
April 10th: A hummingbird comes to my back door and hovers for a bit and I get a text “Hey, Erica we’ve found a buyer who wants to move in on your bday.” ME: Okay no problem I have 2 weeks off for spring break I’ll be packed up and have time to check out some places -what divine timing! My best friend hints she wouldn’t mind going in with me on a place to help me out as she’s not crazy about where she’s currently living, but I don’t want to impose.
April 11th: A woodpecker literally stops me with its cry as I head out my front door. Text: “Hey Erica the buyer withdrew but a backup buyer is going forward! Leslie my personal assistant and agent will show you places.” ME: “thank you, God! Because every place I’ve looked at is asking for more proof of wealth than I have, maybe his agent and his title will help me.”
We see a couple of places that I would qualify for …and it’s really depressing and scary (my light starts to dim) and I fight the ego that is soul wrestling me to succumb to fear and despair and I think of the drunk and his words “it wouldn’t be the first time I was told there was no room in the inn.” I hold onto that scripture looking at each apartment “dump” as a possibility of a transient barn before I give birth in a permanent safe place. I really like Leslie and she’s trying her best and we share a faith that we will find something better.
I kept seeing ducks (opportunity-keep your eyes open)
April 12th: Monarch Street the name is cool and it’s little house on a busy street and I can afford it alone (but again you have to show 2x the income on paper) having two people would easily qualify for it; my friend wants in. My agent takes me to see it and I love it we call owner and she unloads bad news, she was afraid to tell me until now “I have 10 days to find a place and move out if I can then I’ll get $1000 from my friend.” I can’t ignore this incentive as my tax return is on hold I’m bound to any luck thrown my way in terms of having deposit money and it seems this place is better than an apt. FACT: I had scribbled on my dream notebook by my bed the date “4/23” and when I awoke I knew it was something big for me…yeah lol my move out date to a new life in a one year REBIRTH. I was relieved to see that this was already in divine plans but still daunted me on how to pack a whole house and garage in 10 days.
April 13th: I hear an angel tone and note it around 2pm, then later I get a blow to my head (punched) in sensation late around 5:30 pm and note it. I haven’t heard from my agent about the deposit and what is needed I’m worried sick.
April 14th: email: “Sorry that house has been rented!” WHAT!!! The agent and I are on a wild goose chase and I need to pack a full house BY MYSELF and find time to look for a residence quick! As I get ready to head out to meet the agent at potential homes I get a fear/doom and sickness feeling I fall to ground in pain in my stomach. “NO I don’t understand” I call to the angels and guidance above “I believe you are here with me and I will find something this can’t manifest in my body.” I’m really shaken and I try so hard to find calmness and try breathing techniques and keep my cool. I pray and plead with my mind not to accept this fear. I ease up a bit and go through my list of family and loved ones …they’re okay. ‘is this me?’ I ask my soul NO. I don’t understand what’s going on is it the universe? Is it this President what has he done? Is it nature crying? I ground as much as possible grab my trusted rock and call the angels to surround me. As I drive I decide not to listen to the news to figure it out as it might make it worse. “I’m sorry Father/mother I can’t send healing if I feel wounded and I can’t help until I find shelter for my children first.” It’s like putting oxygen mask on first before helping. I use my arsenal of divination tools to fight the woe in my body and heart. I get birds and license plates numbers that help while I chant sounds of Ahh and sing for a higher vibration until I feel my anxiety dissipate. I go to see some apt/condo possibilities and it’s nice but so far I’m tempted by just finding something and settling, but I feel the divine guiding me to trust and I say no when I feel it won’t suit me and my children and possibly my friend, yet my mind says “stupid girl take it.” Note: I think this is the day we bombed Afganistan (again I’m not checking the news until I’m settled and can help) and if true, I think I felt many souls in peril (the doom was almost paralyzing nothing I’ve experienced before) and I’m here to say we all share the same bloodline and stardust; we all came from a bigger love/power AND this is karmic injustice. I’m truly scared of what is to come.
April 17th My family wires me money to deposit my x lets me borrow money until my tax return is paid. I now understand why “Monarch” didn’t work I needed to have the deposit I thank God for the insight and my family and x for helping, I feel it’s coming.
April 18th: I’m packing up a storm taking breaks to see new listings. I see one I’m drawn to the number 7 (my lucky number) with the MLS with 7777 and the street is named after a body of water “I deserve an ocean view!” I recall. I call Leslie we meet to see it an hour later!
FACT: Leslie my agent “OMG!” I rented this very one to an old client years ago she lived here for 7 or more years happily fell in love got married and now lives in Austin.” I jump in excitement “that means you’re going to do it once again!”
She contacts the agent informing him that I sacrifice a higher paying job for my kids education and my friend who is coming in to help but just started a full-time position has been a small business starter. so we don’t look so hot on paper. She tells the agent of the owner to forgo her commission and place it towards my deposit explains I’m a good friend of her boss. To her surprise, his reaction was that he too will be just as generous and she told me that he was a bit off putting when she first called him but now he totally turned around (I’m guessing it was my friend’s name and title but GOD is bigger lol). I get an email from Leslie “the owner says he’s taking a leap of faith on us.” I screamed with happiness (the fool card) I knew it wasn’t by accident those words were spoken for ensuring my belief was true and I understood the drunkard message, and as the tears fell in love with God and the trust I fought so hard for…I had no idea that we would be so much happier as a family!
I faced many obstacles not listed, in fact, I’m still without a dryer and moving is on stand by for new carpet…we’ll get to that later, but there are man-made lakes all around us and all the street names are named after bodies of water. My kids are outside enjoying their freedom and although I am still under a lot of personal pressure at work, ridiculous obligations and kid school projects, I feel really blessed.